So last night I was watching TV and got snacky and decided to make some chocolate pretzels. I didn’t have any baking chocolate handy in my dorm room, so I thought M&Ms would get the job done. WRONG. I heated them in the microwave for one minute and they weren’t melty so I put them back in. I took them out and instead of the multicolored melted chocolate goodness that I anticipated, I got apparently unmeltable M&Ms. I shrugged and popped a couple right in my mouth, not paying attention to the fact that they had been in the microwave for 2 minutes, and was greeted with the sound of my own tongue sizzling.

Apparently the fact that the M&M burned my hand as I brought it up to my mouth didn’t register. This happens all the time to me. Like when I heat up tea and put it in for 2 minutes because hitting Quick On:2 is easier than Time:1:2:5. I have every intention of taking it out with time remaining, but I forget every time and glug down a mouthful of tea that’s a few degrees below boiling. Or the time I was roasting a marshmallow on a metal fork; I took off the marshmallow and then licked the fork to get the remaining gooey stuff. I was walking around with burned-on tine marks on my tongue for a week. I guess its not all bad, I have a legitimate reason for only eating ice cream for dinner.